Bruce Gerencser has up a new post about the Christian marriage, and those of you who haven’t yet figured-out what a fraudulent business Christianity really is — especially the ‘family values’ marketing lie — ought to go take a look.
I was the head of the home, and all decisions were to be made by me. Polly’s role was to care for our home and children. A greater burden was placed on Polly because she was taught that since her husband was a pastor, she and her children would always come second to the church. Polly was often reminded, both in classes and from the pulpit, that she would have to make great sacrifices for the sake of the ministry; that she must never complain about her preacher husband’s tireless service to Jesus; that men greatly used by God always had wives who understood their husbands’ supernatural calling; that if she would humbly walk in her husband’s shadow, that God would greatly reward her after death. Being naturally passive and reserved, Polly adapted well to her calling, as did I, an outspoken, passionate, quick-to-make-decisions pastor. These teachings would, over time, turn Polly into a martyr.
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These experiences, and many others like them, turned Polly into a martyr. No matter what I said or did, she just smiled and obeyed — the perfect IFB pastor’s wife. Instead of giving her opinion or standing her ground, she quietly followed in my footsteps. It was not until we were in our forties that we realized this was no way to live; Polly was supposed to be my partner, not my slave.
Every person who has ever visited a Christian church more than a couple of times has heard it: Put Jesus first in all things; your family will be allright with the leftovers. You’re not the spouse you should be unless Jesus is more important than your spouse. You’re not the parent you should be unless Jesus is more important than your children.
We have all heard that — every single one of us. And that is the teaching of a cult.
How, really, could Christianity teach otherwise? The 1st-Century Christian church was a cult. The New Testament — allegedly authored, or at least inspired by, You-know-who — is the literature of a cult. And all cults since time immemorial, Christianity included, have understood that healthy marriages and families undermine their ownership and control of their members.
Christianity cannot flourish amongst the healthy. Seriously. You want to do something good for your family next Sunday morning? Bundle-up the spouse, the kids, and the dog, and go to a park.