It is a statistical fact that, in a country of 320-million people, some of those people are going to be really stupid.
I’m not talking about gullible and short-sighted, like the average Trump voter. No. I’m talking about … stupid, as in possessing a dysfunctional mind that, going all out, fully revved, thinks it might be a good idea to eat — Oh, I don’t know — a Tide Pod.
It seems every few weeks another challenge takes social media by storm.
Some, like the “Ice Bucket Challenge,” promote a cause. Others, like the bottle-flipping craze, are benign. But then there are those fads that are ill-informed or, worse, dangerous.
The latest, the “Tide pod challenge,” belongs in that category. It involves biting down on a brightly colored laundry detergent packet of any brand and spitting out or ingesting its contents, an act that poses serious health risks.
I have to admit to mixed feelings about this. I have sympathy for parents whose toddler picks-up a pod and chows down; parenting is hard work and, like it or not, you can’t have eyes everywhere and anticipate everything. Really, they have my sympathy and don’t deserve the guilt they’re going to feel while they’re sitting in the emergency room.
But if a grown-up takes the challenge, well … Happy Trails, Moron.
What do you know? Your local supermarket is probably taking steps to interrupt your participation in the challenge.
Tide warns consumers not to dine on laundry pods
I love that subhead: “Tide warns consumers not to dine on laundry pods”
Yes. DO NOT DINE ON LAUNDRY PODS!
Unfortunately, the story doesn’t make clear what is going on in these stores. Are they just not selling pods any more? Do I have to seek a staffer who will scrutinize me to determine whether I might be a soap-head? Would my odds of getting my fix improve if I show up wearing dirty, smelly clothes? Can I earn some quick change by smuggling a load of contraband laundry soap to Florida and selling it from the back of my car in a vacant lot?
America: Where everyone is free to abuse the drug of his or her choice. And I hereby publicly promise not to complain again about having to show my driver’s license to purchase cough medicine.