The newest controlled substance

It is a statistical fact that, in a country of 320-million people, some of those people are going to be really stupid.

I’m not talking about gullible and short-sighted, like the average Trump voter. No. I’m talking about … stupid, as in possessing a dysfunctional mind that, going all out, fully revved, thinks it might be a good idea to eat — Oh, I don’t know — a Tide Pod.

It seems every few weeks another challenge takes social media by storm.

Some, like the “Ice Bucket Challenge,” promote a cause. Others, like the bottle-flipping craze, are benign. But then there are those fads that are ill-informed or, worse, dangerous.

The latest, the “Tide pod challenge,” belongs in that category. It involves biting down on a brightly colored laundry detergent packet of any brand and spitting out or ingesting its contents, an act that poses serious health risks.

I have to admit to mixed feelings about this. I have sympathy for parents whose toddler picks-up a pod and chows down; parenting is hard work and, like it or not, you can’t have eyes everywhere and anticipate everything. Really, they have my sympathy and don’t deserve the guilt they’re going to feel while they’re sitting in the emergency room.

But if a grown-up takes the challenge, well … Happy Trails, Moron.

What do you know? Your local supermarket is probably taking steps to interrupt your participation in the challenge.

Stores lock up detergent pods after ‘challenge’ goes viral

Tide warns consumers not to dine on laundry pods

I love that subhead: “Tide warns consumers not to dine on laundry pods”

Yes. DO NOT DINE ON LAUNDRY PODS!

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t make clear what is going on in these stores. Are they just not selling pods any more? Do I have to seek a staffer who will scrutinize me to determine whether I might be a soap-head? Would my odds of getting my fix improve if I show up wearing dirty, smelly clothes? Can I earn some quick change by smuggling a load of contraband laundry soap to Florida and selling it from the back of my car in a vacant lot?

America: Where everyone is free to abuse the drug of his or her choice. And I hereby publicly promise not to complain again about having to show my driver’s license to purchase cough medicine.

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Still at it

You may be wondering: Has the national eruption of scorn sobered-up The Donald and caused him to take governance seriously?

No.

“The Dems just want illegal immigrants to pour into our nation unchecked.” He can’t be talking about his Great Wall of Texas, because Schumer offered funding. Who he is talking about are the people who want to protect the Dreamers from deportation. Recall, too, that just one day before the shutdown his own party was complaining that they didn’t know what Trump wanted.

Trump is grossly unfit for the office he holds and, worse, he holds it at a time when his own party is so divided as to be schizophrenic. He must be removed from office.

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Dishonest tweet of the day

Though I’d agree there is blame to go around for the shutdown, it must be obvious to anybody actually paying attention that failure to fund CHIP and to find a resolution for the Dreamers rests entirely with the Republicans — specifically, with The Donald. So what does he do? He lies that the military is held ‘hostage’ by the shutdown — No. Military personnel are not furloughed by the shutdown. — and blames it on a ‘desire’ for ‘unchecked illegal immigration’ by the Democrats.

This man is a national disgrace.

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Uh-oh …

It appears that Steve Bannon was on to something when he told journalist Michael Wolff that the danger-zone for The Donald et. al. is money-laundering.

A German business magazine is reporting that Deutsche Bank, the German financial giant which is a major lender to both President Donald Trump and his son-in-law Jared Kushner, identified “suspicious transactions” related to Kushner family accounts, and has reported them to German banking regulators. The bank is reportedly willing to provide the information to special prosecutor Robert Mueller’s team of investigators.

Well … who knows? The bald fact that family participation in money laundering is totally plausible says something about who is running the country these days.

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Texas jury wickedly defies you-know-who

A Texas judge interrupted jury deliberations to tell them that God had told him that the defendant is innocent of the charges against her.

A state district judge in Comal County said God told him to intervene in jury deliberations to sway jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a Buda woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex.

Wickedy, impudently, impiously, the jury went right ahead and convicted the defendant of trafficking anyway.

The jury went against the judge’s wishes, finding Gloria Romero-Perez guilty of continuous trafficking of a person and later sentenced her to 25 years in prison.

As everyone know, you don’t flout the will of Our Invisible Friend without consequence, though they are almost always visited upon the blameless, and at great remove. I don’t have a pipeline to the Cosmic Mind, or anything, but if I lived in North Dakota I’d buy myself a hardhat and start making tornado preparations.

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