The cosmic battle for California

Y’all will doubtless be comforted to learn that ‘prophetess’ Kat Kerr has ordered the winter storm anticipated on the east coast to put out the California wildfires.

Self-proclaimed “prophetess” and “weather warrior” Kat Kerr posted a video on her Facebook page yesterday ordering the winter storm that is bringing freezing rain and snow to the East Coast to shift and head west in order to extinguish the devastating wildfires that have been ravaging California.

Wildfires have been raging for more than a week and have already destroyed thousands of homes and taken dozens of lives, but Kerr is only now getting around to “taking authority” over them, ordering rain to fall on the region and calling on God to remove the oxygen from the fires.

“We command [the hosts of heaven] to get in there and break up those fires,” Kerr declared. “We command a low pressure system to come. Why do I say that? Because a low pressure system brings rain and we need rain in that part of the country right now … We command them to begin to fizzle, to go out, let the oxygen be removed from the fire itself but not from any of the surrounding atmosphere.”

Whether or not Ms. Kerr’s supernatural powers can overcome the powers of all the Southern Baptist preachers who endlessly summon perdition against California will be decided in the next few days, I guess.

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