Dismal theology-related tweet for the day

‘Christology’ is that branch of theology concerned with the nature of the man Jesus, a subject of dispute since the very first century anno domini. Don’t bother mentioning to these evangelical intellectuals that there is a solid basis for questioning whether or not the man Jesus ever even existed; they won’t hear it.

Here is an annotated version of the statement which Albert the Pious urges all godly, right-minded people to affirm:

We confess the mystery and wonder
  of God made flesh
  and rejoice in our great salvation
  For we are all born no damn good, and deserve to burn in hell forever
  through Jesus Christ our Lord.

With the Father and the Holy Spirit,
  the Son created all things,
  sustains all things,
  and makes all things new.
  We believe these things without a scintilla of evidence
  Truly God,
  He became truly man,
  two natures in one person.
  According to the Compromise of Nicaea

He was born of the Virgin Mary
  This was not known to the first generation of Christians
  and lived among us.
  Crucified, dead, and buried,
  He rose on the third day,
  ascended to heaven,
  You’d think there’d be a contemporaneous record of an event like this
  and will come again  
  This was supposed to happen within His generation, but … WHOOPS!
  in glory and judgement.

For us,
  He kept the Law,
  atoned for sin,
  and satisfied God’s wrath.
  For we are no damn good
  He took our filthy rags
  It is touching us which soils our clothing
  and gave us
  His righteous robe.

He is our Prophet, Priest, and King,
  building His church,
  interceding for us,
  Interceding with Himself, mind you
  and reigning over all things.
  His reign has no responsibility for misfortune, however

Jesus Christ is Lord;
  we praise His holy Name forever.

Amen.

Bah. These people are idiots, and so are those who can’t see that.