“Finally, I discovered the truth about who I was and why I was different: I discovered I was gay.” #BNGopinion By Amber Cantorna https://t.co/52zGnUC4Gl
— Baptist News Global (@baptist_news) March 4, 2021
The tweet itself is fairly ordinary, a commonplace sentiment; but do read the article she points to.
I was taught to be good, to obey, to submit and to be a role model for others. I was trained to love Jesus, serve others and put myself last. My internal voice — the one that whispers to you in the stillness — was something to be avoided, not trusted. Instead, I was to trust my family, my pastor, my church and those in leadership over me — but never myself. Listening to my self was dangerous and worldly. It was not an act of surrender. So I ignored it, I pushed it down, and I hoped it would go away.
[ … ]
Then came “The Trauma,” and with it, the inability to trust anyone or anything. I only trusted myself — but I was told that my self was bad, that there was something wrong with me, that I needed to be fixed, cured, healed, exorcised. I didn’t understand why, but I did all the things people told me I needed to do: I prayed, I fasted, I confessed to those in authority over me, I read my Bible, I trusted God and had faith.
I suppose that what reaches me in this piece is the emphasis upon … self, the insistence by Christianity that you are innately depraved, defective, foul. That is Christianity’s indispensable metaphysical claim, and it goes directly to who you are, rests upon nothing but the bald fact that you are a living human being. To be a live human is to be depraved, defective, foul — and there is nothing you can do about it except join the right club and keep your fingers crossed.
So Phooey! on all that empty talk about love-love-love. Christianity is degrading at the root, and has nothing on offer but degradation.